My kitschy life

2011-09-27T15:36:00.000+02:00

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the lie.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

ADELE

I miss you

2010-10-28T02:31:00.002+02:00

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

Found and lost again

2010-08-02T04:57:00.000+02:00

I found God... on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West... was all but won
All alone... smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where've you been?"... He said, "Ask anything".

Where were you... when everything was falling apart.
All my days... were spent by the telephone
It never rang... and all I needed was a call
That never came... to the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure... you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor... surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?... Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late... you found me, you found me.

But in the end... everyone ends up alone
Losing him... the only one who's ever known
Who I am... who I'm not and who I wanna be
No way to know... how long he could be next to me

Lost and insecure... you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor... surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?... Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late... you found me, you found me...

The early morning... the city breaks
And I've been calling... for years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve... taking all I want

Lost and insecure... you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor... Where were you? Where were you?

Lost and insecure... you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor... surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?... Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late... you found me, you found me!

Why'd you have to wait... to find me, to find me?

2010-04-24T16:01:00.000+02:00

I miss those blue eyes
How you kissed me at night
I miss the way we see
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not
Around you
It's like I'm gone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
(still you're gone)
Can't believe that I still want
You
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

2010-04-12T03:35:00.001+02:00

You're not worth it babe

The trouble you bring the noise you keep

And you don't even care

I'm so sick of you babe

Nights wasted I'm through faking

You don't turn me on

You don't do anything at all

Baby I can't stand the sight of your face

Baby I don't even want to hear your name

Don't know what I saw

But I ain't seeing it now

Woke up this morning, bitterness in my mouth

You're too high maintenance babe

All the time you spent trying to fit in and noone even cares

It's so ridiculous babe

Watching you turn as I burn

It's like you're not even there

Baby don't you try and hold my hand

Maybe you should keep your eyes on your new girlfriend

I'll take this chivas instead

Over your bed

It wasn't even good

Trust me

I must have been so so so so lonely

You are crap, yeah

You should keep your eyes on your new little brat

It's hard not to look I know

I'm amazing

I love you chivas

I do.

2010-04-05T22:31:00.000+02:00

when i'm done with thinking, then i'm done with you.
when i'm done with crying, then i'm done with you.
when i feel so tired, then i'm done with you.
everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -

and i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.

you're trying to convince me that what i've done's not right.
i get so frustrated, i stay up every night.
you ask me for an answer, and i'm so tired and i'm up in the air.
everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -

and i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.
you can't hear it, but i'm feeling this way
just because you say

i will be ignored.
i will be denied.
i could be erased.
i could be brushed aside.
i will get scared, and i will get shoved down,
but i feel like i do beause you push me around.

i'm starting to ignore you, i've doubted you so long.
i'm tired of over-thinking, i know you don't belong.
now i'm asking questions - no one pushes me around.
everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -

and i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.
you don't seem angry, but i do.
i do.

At last

2010-03-04T18:29:00.000+01:00

At last my love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

At last the skies above are blue

And my heart was wrapped up in clover

The night I looked at you

I found a dream that I can speak to

A dream that I could call my own

I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known

You smiled, and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

And you are mine at last

Stupid girl

2010-02-06T16:00:00.000+01:00

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause
I honestly believed in you
Holdin' on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should've known, I should've known

That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Maybe I was naïve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
My mistake I didnt know to be in love
you had to fight to have the upper hand.
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings;
Now I know

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry

Cause Im not your princess
This aint a fairytale
Im gonna find someone, Some day
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rearview mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse,
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.

It's too late
To catch me now.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2009-11-10T18:02:00.000+01:00

It's already November!! Holy crap. Christmas presents are in the works. I'm getting much inspiration from etsy and sewmamasew. I even went so far to buy the patterns for these this year. Who knows if I'll have time to finish them, but it doesn't hurt to start on them. Planning for Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I will have to make a turkey again this year, but it will be a much toned down version of last year. No sense in cooking and baking all day just to collapse on the couch utterly exhausted afterwards.

Christmas parties for work are all in the planning. Three so far and a Christmas Ball. Oh, and one for the kiddos I got suckered into organizing. :) Not really, I love putting stuff together like that. And it is freakin cold outside. Did I mention that! Below freezing most mornings when I make my way to work at 6:30. The Christmas decorations will have to come down from the attic soon, maybe next weekend. :D
Wish I was here again....

The Mediterranean outside of Pisa, Italy

It's not me

2009-11-02T20:14:00.002+01:00

Nevermind the face that you put on
In front of me
And nevermind the pain
You've put me ..through

Cause every little thing you say
And every little thing you do
It makes me doubt all of this

Look what you did
Is this who you wanted me to be?
Well it's not me

Look what you did
Is this how you wanted it to be?
This life you gave away
Was meant for me

Forget about the trip that you've been on
Or so it seems
Nevermind the lies that you told, my tears

Cause every little thing you said
And every little thing you did
You made me doubt all of this

I don't know how I can face this pain
I'll keep it inside so you can't see
I don't think I can go on this way, 'cause it's not me

It's not me

Here Without You

2009-09-24T20:57:00.001+02:00

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight its only you and me.

I miss you so.....

Men

2009-04-26T16:29:00.002+02:00

I am a fool.
I am a toy for your amusement.
I am something to be played with.
I am at your beck and call.
No more.

My song this week

2009-04-23T20:35:00.001+02:00

I have enjoyed listening to this song ever since I heard it off the House soundtrack some time last year. A few month back it gained even more significance to me. Since I became a mom the only two people in this world I have ever sung to sleep are my two little girls. No, they are the only two I have ever sung to sleep until a few month ago. It was just a moment in my life that came and went, but I remember it every time I hear this song and it makes me smile.

"See The World"

Day to day
Where do you want to be?
'Cos now you're trying to pick a fight
With everyone you need

You seem like a soldier
Who's lost his composure
You're wounded and playing a waiting game
In no-man's land no-one's to blame

See the world
Find an old fashioned girl
And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you earned

Empty handed, surrounded by a senseless scene
With nothing of significance
Besides a shadow of a dream
You sound like an old joke
You're worn out, a bit broken
Asking me time and time again
And the answer's still the same

See the world
Find an old fashioned girl
And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you earned

You've got a chance to put things right
So how's it going to be?
Lay down your arms now
And put us beyond doubt
So reach out it's not too far away
Don't mess around now, don't delay

And for good measure.....

"Walter Reed"

I count the cases piled up high
For the 1:15.
For platform and for passerby
It's the same routine.
I'm ranting while I’m raving,
There's nothing here worth saving.

Tell me now, what more do you need?
Take me to Walter Reed tonight.
Baby I've lost the will for fighting
Over everything.
Well there's a few things I gotta say
And make no mistake, I'm mad…
'Cause every good thing I've had
Abandoned me.

All I want to do is hide.
It's graduation day
And everything I learned inside
Didn't seem to pay.
I've had my fill of palm trees
And lighting up Grauman's Chinese.

Tell me now, what more do you need?
Take me to Walter Reed tonight.
Baby I've lost the will for fighting
Over everything
And there's a few things I gotta say.
Make no mistake, I'm mad.
'Cause every good thing I had
Abandoned me.

A sad and lonesome me.

I'm the walking wounded
And I'd say it to your face
But I can't find my place.

So tell me now, what more do you need?
Take me to Walter Reed tonight.
Baby I've lost the will for fighting
Over everything
And there's a few things I gotta say.
Make no mistake, I'm mad
'Cause every good thing I had
Abandoned me.

A sad and lonesome me.
A sad and lonesome me.
A sad and lonesome me.

In my head and in my heart.

Izabel's 6th Birthday

2009-04-22T21:16:00.001+02:00

This last week Izabel celebrated her 6th birthday. She got to talk to daddy in Iraq while eating her birthday cupcake.
Then there was Izabel's Birthday Party at Yabadoo!
Espi and I playing air hockey.

Me loosing to Espi. She's getting good at scoring.

This cutie had a good day. It was raining outside but all fun inside.

Neuschwanstein Castle

2009-04-21T20:54:00.011+02:00

Another little weekend trip to the heart of Bavaria. It was a great time. The girls had a blast and so did I. Our ride up to the castle. It would have been a long walk and the girls would not have been up to it. They don't allow photos or video in the castle because of the copyright laws, but I took this near the gift store so I think it was allowed. Lugwig had a sincere affinity for swans. I heard he was gay. The decor was definitely fruity.

Espi on the walk down from the castle. We were gonna catch the little carriage back down the hill but they stopped running at 6pm. So we walked down and crashed at the hotel later.

The other castle near Neuschwanstein Castle, Hohenschwangau Castle. We did not go up there but it looked really neat from below.Izabel and I swinging. The way the whole weekend went pretty much. Me smiling. My cheeks hurt by Sunday night.
Even on vacation mommy does the dishes.

Heidelberg

2009-04-10T03:59:00.000+02:00

The girls and I took a trip to Heidelberg this past weekend. We had a blast. Stayed at a hotel right on the hauptstrasse (that's main street for all you Yanks) called the Hotel Bayerischer hof. And we had ice cream twice in one day. Yes, they were that good.
The girls being goofy with the castle in the background.

I found this last time I was in Heidelberg but didn't have my camera. It is on the stairs leading up to a museum/art gallery. Love it. I want to duplicate that in a photo. Just need a picture taker.

On the hauptstrasse doing a bit of shopping at the farmer's market.

The view of the city from the castle.
Gorgeous place and a short walk up to the castle and all the shopping you could want.
We also stopped by my favorite fabric place here in Germany. The Arts and Craft Store on PHV. I only spent about $50 but most of it was half off sales. And I got some nice prints to make a few gifts for some chicas that have been most awesome while Leon has been gone. More pictures forth coming but work is kickin my butt right now so this will have to do for now. This weekend we are headed to Neuschwanstein Castle in the heart of Bavaria I'm already packed! Does that tell you how excited I am?

Song of The Week

2009-04-06T17:50:00.000+02:00

What is life without music?? I listen to all different kinds and some you may have heard before, some you may have not. But on here I want to share a song I really like or one that I can totally rock out to in the car or both. This is gonna be an every week thing cause my life would be so boring without music to listen to. In the car, in the shower/tub, while sewing, cooking, cleaning, gardening (yes, the outside work has begun in earnest). This week I'm doing dishes rockin out to this song over and over again.
Check it out here or buy it here legally for 9 cents :D.....

Melissa Etheridge "Like The Way I Do"

Is it so hard to satisfy your senses
You found out to love me you have to climb some fences
Scratching and crawling along the floor to touch you
And just when it feels right you say you found someone else to hold you
Does she like I do
Baby,
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Can I survive all the implications
Even if I tried could you be less than an addiction
Don't you think I know their's so many others
Who would beg steal and lie fight kill and die
Just to hold you hold you like I do
Baby,
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Nobody loves you like the way I do
Nobody wants you like the way I do
Nobody needs you like the way I do
Nobody aches nobody aches just to hold you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do

My addiction

2009-04-05T17:42:00.000+02:00

It was Christmas in April last week. I got new socks. A lot of new socks. My favorite website for sock buying is here. I was recently told about this place. I'm in sock heaven. There is no 12 step program for my addiction.

Here are some of my favorites...

These pictures tend to be rather popular on Flickr. If you found me through my sock pictures let me know!!

Quantum of Solace vs. Gone In 60 Seconds

2009-04-04T19:49:00.000+02:00

I am away for the weekend with the girls so I will make this short, well kinda. I recently got into a debate on which chase scene is the best in a movie. Up for the award is the opening scene from Quantum of Solace or the chase scene with Eleanor ('67 Shelby) in Gone in 60 Seconds (the remake, not the original). The chase scene in Bullitt with Steve McQueen (a '68 Fastback) was mentioned, but as much as I like Steve I LOVE how Nicolas Cage sweet talks his Eleanor. Other notables are the car chase in The French Connection and a new but probably not as well known car chase in Deathproof.
Having been the only one to see both (and I was the only girl there so that is saying a lot) I had the only opinion that was relevant. My current favorite is hands down, Daniel Craig, the NEW AND MOST BADASS James Bond. The car. The bullets flying. And that look on his face....cool, calm, totally in control. BADASS!!!
Now click on all those damn links it took me a while to find and tell me your opinion....

Movie Review

2009-04-03T19:54:00.000+02:00

I am not a chick flicky kind girl. But the other night I was in a mood and got "Nights in Rodanthe."
I was recently teased that I relate movies to my own life while watching Zach and Miri Make a Porno. I do. One of my quirks. Such a wonderful story about love and loss and remembering. Timing. Perfect Timing.
Towards the end there is a scene where Diane Lane is talking to her daughter. She says,"There is a love that makes you think anything is possible. I want you to know that you can have that. I want you to know that you deserve it."
I wish my mom had said that to me when I was younger. I wish my mom had given me any advice at all when it comes to boys, relationships, or love. I imagine it is because she herself settled. My dad is great, a wonderful man, provider, and dad, but I never saw a lot of affection between them. Not too many hugs, kisses, or the like. And not a lot directed towards us kids either.
This movie takes place on the Outer Banks, NC. I loved the house and googled it to see if it really was a B&B since I'm looking for a beach location to visit when I R&R back to the states in August. Unfortunately, the house was destroyed during a recent storm and is uninhabitable. But the area is beautiful. I'll put Rodanthe on my list of maybes along with Orchard Beach, ME and Rehobeth Beach, MD. I want to walk along the beach with the sand in between my toes and the love that makes me think anything is possible.
Until then I'll wait.

Earth Hour 2009

2009-03-30T00:08:00.003+02:00

Last night was the third year of Earth Hour. I've taken part every year. This year I made a game out of it with the girls. At around 7:30 freshly bathed doodles were almost ready for bed when I told them we were going to play a game. I had them gather their pillows, blankets, and dolls and bring them downstairs. I told them to run around the house and turn off all the lights, unplug everything from the walls and turn down all the radiators. They came back downstairs to a candle lit living room. We played with their dolls, dressing them, undressing them, making up stories, naming them over and over again. With each new outfit they got a new name.
We survived over an hour and a half without any electricity of any kind. No phone, no TV, no computer (GASP!!!), no lights, no heat. We were having SO much fun the hour went by and then some before I realized Earth Hour was over. After that we snuggled on the couch and they fell asleep.

This morning Espi asked if we could play the lights out game again tonight. I so enjoyed the quality time I spent with them. I believe we will make this a weekly event rather than a yearly one. Off with the TV and computer and spend some time with your family. It restores the soul.

Living in the Grey

2009-03-28T16:09:00.004+01:00

I've always wondered what it would be like to see the world through rose colored glasses. Lately, everything seems brighter, more alive. That could just be the coming of spring or my new found sense that most of my life I've lived in the grey. You know, that fine line between right and wrong, heaven and hell (if you believe in them), good and bad. If only I could figure out where that line begins on either side and maybe my life, the choices I've made, would be very different.
Lately, I've struggled. I've let my heart lead my life. But I'm an Aquarian. My passion is part of me. I've been told I'm too much. Of what, I've never known. I just am.
But last month, last month I found inspiration. I found my muse. But I found something that cannot be. So I am leaving the opposite sex for someone else to figure out. For now, I will take my love, my passion, my longing and channel it into my creating. I have many projects I've been planning, I will make time.
On my to do list for April:
*A new house means making room for a new garden. Herbs in the window boxes and tomatoes, soybeans, and peppers along the side of the house outside. Much work needs to be done, but I have two extra sets of little hands to help.
*A little spring cleaning is in order. Cleaning out the attic and organizing my craft stuff so I don't buy something I need, but already have. A yard sale and donating montessori/waldorf supplies the girls have outgrown to the montessori school here. Maybe I might send some more stuff to Iraq as well.
*I haven't done this in a few years, but the girls are wanting dresses this summer. Lots and lots of dresses. I see a flurry of sewing cutesy tops, capri pants (cause Izabel's scrawny waist only allows for elastic pants), and bright summer dresses and skirts. Some for them and maybe a few for me.
*I am planning to open my Etsy shop again. I have several ideas of what to include, but it's still in the works.
*Buying a pair of these.
But first, tonight, a bubble bath and a bottle of wine.

Dolomiti

2009-03-23T21:35:00.006+01:00

My favorite little cafe here in Germany has got to be Dolomiti. It is in Landstuhl near the hospital and I discovered it one day by complete accident. If you are a crafty person you well know that finding craft stores here is near impossible. I found one while window shopping in Landstuhl. And across the street my little sanctuary:
And for all you that think you can only find amazing crepes in France.....
Banana and nutella with REAL cream. There is no way to describe how good they are. You just need to try them yourself.

UFC

2009-03-22T19:42:00.006+01:00

I have been invited to a UFC fight in Koln (Cologne, Germany for all you Americans) in June. For those of you who know me well you know I kinda dig two even remotely hot guys fightin it out. I am an action flick junkie and I love me a good car chase and the occasional bloody violence. Now, having said that, if you just know me in passing you'll pick up on my Buddhist tendencies, peace, love, and all that crap. How can those two qualities be in the same person you ask??
I was briefly, and I mean BRIEFLY dating a guy who used to be part of the MMA. For how long or to what extent I will never know cause it really didn't go very far. Now I have a friend whose really cool and we have a lot in common (insert invite to UFC here) but let's just say I am keeping a distance. A few of you know why, but that's a whole other blog and I'm sure I would be called a few names. Crazy homewrecking bitch springs to mind but I assure you all those are not my intention. Ian, you can stop writing now, I get it. One of these days I will write about the entire account but as of now it does not have an ending. Yes, in this case, I am weak.
SO, back to UFC. I remember when I first heard about the UFC back in oh, 1998. One of my many ex's, Drew, sat down and we watched it, me mostly in horror at the violence. Then while I lived in Las Vegas I went to go see a fight there. Can't tell you who was fighting but I remember the guy I went with was a hottie and British. Maybe that is why I like Jason Statham so much.
I'm not sure when my attitude towards two guys beating each other up changed, but it was probably close to the time I became a veggie and adopted a more zen quality to my life. (I hear some of you snickering, but I swear my derailment is temporary.) Besides, if I can't do the fighting I might as well get some thrill out of watching it. And it does help that one tends to fantasize that the two dudes are fightin over you. That's Hawt!!
For all you men folk out there what does it mean when a guy asks you to something three months in advance?? Is it a date or is it as friends? I think it's the later, but he could just be a planner. On the other hand, he procrastinates like me. Case in point, I sewed his stripes on his shirt today for an inspection tomorrow morning.
Upcoming this week-photos to share of food and me....Jeremy, how did you like the ones I sent you??

Singing

2009-03-06T20:04:00.003+01:00

The little one, Izabel, and I have a fondness for singing out loud, mostly in the car, but at home as well. I do not have the best voice but sometimes the meaning behind the words trumps the embarrassment of my off key vocals. Izabel, however, has a sweet little voice. I'm sure she gets it from her dad. He does a pretty good Frank Sinatra, hat and all. She told me today that she liked Santa because he gave her music, i.e. an IPOD shuffle. She carries it everywhere but flips through the 100+ songs I have put on it to find a few of her favorites. Oddly enough, she is not a fan of Hannah Montana or High School Musical. Izabel loves the soundtrack from Singin in the Rain and Easter Parade. These are also her favorite movies. I can imagine in a few years when her two left feet start talking to one another she will be a singing, tap dancing cutie as good as Debbie Reynolds.
Izabel favorite:
Moses

Moses suposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
And Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be

Moses suposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
A Rose is a rose
A Nose is a nose
A Toese is a toese

Hupidubidu! (ehehehehe)

Moses suposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
And Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be

Now, the only way to get the full effect is to imagine Gene Kelly dancing around while you sing this. :)

My favorite today:

I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you

This song says it all. And you know if it's directed at you.

Saying Goodbye

2009-03-03T00:32:00.002+01:00

It's been almost a year since I threw myself into the world of blogging. Many things happened to steer me off course. What a crazy time it has been. I've recently (like within the last few months) started to keep a journal. And I'm thinking if I can do that I can make time to write about things that are important to me.
I live around and in a military community outside of the US. People are coming and going all the time. Saying goodbye to old friends and making new ones is part of the deal. I recently took someone to the airport to see them off knowing full well I would probably never see them again. It was heart wrenching. I sat there having coffee knowing it would be easier to get up and walk away but my brain and my feet would not coordinate themselves to do so. My heart was speaking much louder and controlling my every thought. A hug and I walked away. I swear it was if I could feel my heart break right then. Through a stable but uncommitted marriage, a pretty uncomplicated divorce, and lots of other stories in between I have never known such sadness.
Lately I feel like I'm always saying goodbye to good people. It is part of the deal. Everyone has one foot out the door. Self sufficiency and loneliness are my words for today.

When is too much?

2008-03-26T07:07:00.002+01:00

I sold what should be the last of the girls scout cookies our troop had today. I really didn’t want to be there, but I had two little girls eager to participate so it wasn’t too bad. We did pretty well too. Over $250 worth sold in less than 2 hours. And all the young cute guys giving me winks and smiles helped the time pass more quickly. Lots of service members are just “passing through” when I see them over here. One cute airmen said he was going to have to eat the cookies quick. I knew what that meant. It meant he was headed somewhere not so fun or headed home. (Service members can’t take food on flights out.) So I asked, “Where ya headed”? Home. He’s headed home. Good for him. He made it. He’s going back to his family, friends all in one piece. And home for him is in Wisconsin.

A new landmark number was reached over the weekend. It’s been in the news and on every front page of your local paper. What does that number mean? Is it too many? Is it too few? When do the lives and treasure lost become so great we rethink our direction? I don’t think it ever will. A weak dollar, a less than stellar economy, over $3 a gallon for gas and this has nothing to do with the billions of dollars we are pumping into another country? Do we sacrifice our own to free others? At what cost?

I have resigned myself to the fact we will be over there for years and years to come, no matter who get’s elected next. Our military will have a presence in these two war torn countries as long as we need oil.

I’m sure Doonesbury will run the names of all those killed again sometime soon. It’s touching. I still have the funnies from the first time he ran them. More so to read them to see if there was anyone I knew.

I’ve worn a military uniform. I see uniforms everyday of my life. I see missing limbs and broken minds. I see grown men strong and hard crying like little girls because of the pain. Out of all the destruction and death can come one of two things- unimaginable despair or true strength, compassion, and love. I’ve seen both, the former more than the latter. How many marriages have been broken? How many children have been affected? The toll on our people has only begun to take shape. Thousands dead, hundreds of thousands bodies broken, damaged lives. Families destroyed, children orphaned, single moms and dads created. Forget the treasure. When do we take care of our own people?

Go here to support our service members everywhere.

Change is in the air

2008-03-25T06:26:00.001+01:00

I've been wanting to start a journal for some time now. There has always been something else that was more important or time consuming-kids, marriage, work, hobbies. I've been up all night feeling sad because a friend is leaving today, moving far away and I will miss them tremendously. But they said something to me that made me finally pick a blogging spot here in my laptop and start writing.

"You CAN put yourself first."

Between the driving from ballet class to girl scout meetings, the 7pm dinners because we just got home and nothing is ready and my obsessive need to be in my sewing room when piles of laundry are stacking up and there is a sink full of dishes I will take the time to stop, and consider the kind of day I had, what contribution I made in the world, and where I want this life of mine to go. I hope you enjoy my kitschy life.

-RKL